Weekends: Painfully Short

WHY do Mondays come so damn quickly?!?! Ugh. Last night was fun though. I got me a box of wine ("Boxwine" is a great name for a band or film production company, btw) that will last me all week. I had some by the pool yesterday and later, broke out the wine glasses. Me and the baby mostly relaxed all day except for grocery shopping, light housekeeping, and visiting J. Fu and her new baby, who is a very good baby indeed with NO crying or fussing while we were there! MY baby and I took J. Fu's dog for a walk which the baby and dog both enjoyed. I didn't get around to going to the library or watching Burden of Dreams or tackling any more of my transcription work, but after 3 glasses of wine I didn't care much. And I slept GREAT last night!

So Friday was very cool as well. Even DH came with me and the baby (though they skipped out for some of it to go to Wendy's, exasperated sigh!). I got to meet the great Sam Pollard and I felt a little silly introducing myself as "first-time filmmaker." But he was very gracious and we watched, or in my case, re-watched Act 3 of When the Levees Broke. Afterwards during Q&A I asked a brilliant, sublime and eloquent question about how Spike's movies always use music so amazingly and effectively and how involved Sam Pollard was in the music choices and how the music affected his editing choices, etc. B/c music is certainly affecting me very strongly in the ways I am planning out my movie!

The Saturday high school all-school reunion thing was ok except they lost my trailer DVD and I had to run to the car and get my last copy so they could show it as was scheduled to be shown on the program! This makes me a little nervous as that means there's a copy of my trailer floating around out there somewhere and I do not like the idea of that. Also now I only have 1 copy to my name. But anyway, when they showed it there were about 75 people in the room and everyone applauded and one lady in the front row shouted out, "It's brilliant!" which was very, very sweet! After that I ate my meal and then me, DH and the baby split since there was really no one there that I knew. It seemed to be mostly grad's from the 70's and 80's, man!

Today the baby went to her first day of arts camp and that seemed to go well. She said she wanted to go back tomorrow, which is a good sign--but apparently she does not like the food. The City provides the lunches for the kids and the baby said it was a sandwich with meat, no chips or any fruit, and some kind of juice she didn't like. Gads, I hate picky eaters!!! When my brother and I were kids we pretty much liked anything except for Chinese food and vegetables. And of course today, my cast-iron stomach is legendary. But I guess we may have to send her with her own damn lunch from now on for cryin' out loud. I guess maybe I was being naive to expect decent food from the City anyway.

The Next 3 Days

will go something like this (I hope!):

Tomorrow: day off from Job #1! Gotta take the car to get inspected and have the a/c checked out. Then I want to spend some quality time in and around the pool. Job #2 in the afternoon and then a groovy evening film workshop with Sam Pollard!!! I cannot WAIT to discuss Part 2 of When The Levees Broke, which he did with Spike! Ooh-wee! (the baby will be with me for all of this, btw.)

Saturday!: dropping off the baby early in the morn at her uncle, my bro's place so they can go to the Aquarium (one of her favorite places on the planet apparently) and I can go to the annual High-spanic Health Coalition board retreat from 9-2. That evening will then find us (me, DH, and baby) at my high school's all-school reunion/Happening. Frankly, the only reason I'm going is b/c they have agreed to let me show my trailer, and Ninfa's Original is catering. Otherwise I am going to know very few people there; only 1 other person from my class will be there according to the RSVP list. I did talk one of my coworkers at Job #1 into going (she graduated 8 yrs before I), so that'll be cool I guess--if she even has time to talk to me!

Sunday: DH has been forced to go on patrol so I want to take the baby to JFu's house so we can see her baby boy, Lucas Eric, who was born on Monday! At some point this weekend I need to do some more transcription work on my doc and as always, there is tons of reading to do. I'd love to run by the library and get in some pool time on Sunday as well. God, just thinking about my weekends make me tired sometimes, before they even get here.

July Motherhood Time

That's what this month is for me. I am just glad the baby is getting to be more self-sufficient so she can now do things like dress herself, brush her own hair, entertain herself on the computer, get her own cereal, turn on her own tv, read easy books herself, etc. etc. HOWEVER--I am a little torn between being glad she's not so much of a handful and also fearing that I may be saddened in just a few more short years when she is even more independent and will need us less and less and less. I don't know, it's hard to gauge how I might feel as thing progress! But my mom said the other day that I need to cuddle her as much as possible now, when she still enjoys cudding with us. I know my friend A. lamented on Facebook recently that his kids--1 of whom is the baby's exact age--are getting too big to cuddle and reject their dad's attempts--but they're boys so that's to be expected I suppose. The baby still loves to cuddle with us, sit on our laps, and have our arms around her all the time.

She's been coming to work with me yesterday, today and tomorrow, then next week she starts 2 weeks of arts camp that I suggested to DH we put her in. She will have percussion instrument playing in the morning and poetry writing in the afternoon!

A Time to Relax

So yesterday was the 4th of July and I celebrated by staying in the whole entire day and loving every damn minute of it!!! I had the day off Friday too and all I did on that day was finish putting up the window film in our bedroom (with the baby's help--she was in charge of spraying the application spray), go grocery shopping, do laundry, and later spent some time in our Bahamian-warm swimming pool with DH, Auntie R. and Uncle T. Bliss.

I just could not excited about trying to do anything yesterday. On Friday night DH and I got a wild hair when telling the baby about SeaWorld (we allowed her to watch the entire Jaws series and SeaWorld is the setting for Jaws 3: 3D!) and thought we might just have to take an overnight trip to SeaWorld in San Antonio. But when I got online and saw the ticket prices and nearly had a heart attack ($50 BIG BUCKS EACH!!!) we put the kibosh on that crazy idea! We'll go next year when we're out of debt and wealthy!

So yesterday the baby, who is with us for the entire month of July, and I relaxed around the house all day long while DH was at work and it was so wonderful to not have to be anywhere at any time. Later Ma and F. came over and relaxed with us. And I had gotten the big talk over with my dad earlier that day; surprisingly he took it quite well with no yelling, cussing, or any other drama. He just calmly told me that I was wrong if I felt he was naysaying me or didn't believe in me and I just calmly replied that I had to do what was best for me in order for me to be able to work on and complete this film project. But after we hung up instead of feeling free and relieved I just felt sad b/c I'm going to miss him calling me up and excitedly telling me I needed to see this film or that film or read this book or that book, and I'm going to miss his emails suggesting this website or that website. It breaks my heart that he always has to FUCK THINGS UP for himself and the people that care about him and I just don't understand why he can't be strong enough to overcome whatever it is that he has in his past that won't allow him to be a happy, content, successful functioning person in society--not that that's the be-all/end-all to the American Dream or anything, but I mean, no matter how you look at it it can't be good for you or your psyche or your well-being no matter how you define it, to be constantly on the scrounge for a place to sleep or a paycheck or a hot meal or a cold beer, which is how he's spent most of his life!!! It just sucks to have to see, is all I'm saying. But whatever, que sera` sera`!

I went to an interesting workshop last Tuesday night that SWAMP put on with a guy from DiscMakers presenting. We all got to stand up before and say who we are and what project we're working on. It really is exciting to be a filmmaker in Houston--there's so many projects going on at all times! I still always feel a little out of place at these things though, but there's so many other events coming up that I really want to go to! Unfortunately if I run into my dad at any of these things I will feel sad and uneasy, and as far as the next documentary idea that we had been discussing, well I guess that's not going to happen either. Such a damn shame.

Ooooh Wee I Got Some People Need Puttin' In Their Place

...and I'm ready and wanting to take care of them ASAP!

Person needs taking down a peg or 2 #1: DH's mother, the person I was so unfortunate as to gain as a mother-in-law. DH says she has offered to take care of the baby if we need during the month of July since we will have the baby with us the entire month. I said before that happens she and I still need to sit down and talk and come to certain agreements about things. As The Bride stated in Kill Bill, she and I have unfinished business. (Now, every time The Bride said that about someone in Kill Bill they ended up dead by her hand... but we won't go there. Heh heh.) So I texted her and told her she needs to meet with me and she agreed to meet me "near Conroe" TX (she lives 2 counties away). I texted back I will meet her HALFWAY, which is more like Spring/The Woodlands (thanks, MeetWays!) and reminded her that we will resolve this before I allow her to see the baby.

Person needs taking down a peg or 2 #2: My bitchy, dumb, FAT ASS Sergeant. We got our employee evaluations last night at the monthly meeting. I was shocked and appalled to see that she rated me low in 3 categories and wrote the comments that I do not follow my supervisors' instructions, I need to take constructive criticism better, and that it is unknown at times when I work (patrol). Lies, lies, LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pulled our new, temporary Lt. aside (we are currently without a Lt.) and told him this was all bullshit and he promised to follow up with her since she wasn't even at the meeting. I was sooooo pissed and I checked the box that I did not agree with this evaluation and wrote that they were all lies and I demanded to see documentation otherwise. That fucking bitch! But the Lt. pointed out that the dumb blonde fat bitch had incorrectly given me the wrong score--I was supposed to get a 17 and she gave me a 15 b/c she apparently is unable to figure out how to subtract 3 from 20. He said, "It seems like she's new at doing this." I stifled a laugh and didn't mention that she's been a Sergeant for, oh what, 5 years or so? Oh I can't wait to hear the follow-up to this huge steaming pile of horseshit!

And person #3 is still my dad. I have yet to tell him he's fired from the film project b/c I am trying to get the words right in my head still. For all I know he will cuss me out when I tell him and refuse to speak to me anymore, which will make the family holiday get togethers ugly and messy. But he's very well known for his refusing to speak to family members for years at a time, most noticeably his own mother and his niece. So there you go. I would prefer to avoid that, but if that is the result well, it's all on him, not on me. But it just goes to show you that I have reason to be concerned about his reactions, plus the fact that I have decided to do it over the phone in case he got violent at any point too. Again, I have good reason to consider this.

Got a question for God: Why put these people on earth that have no concept of "Live and let live" and are determined to mess with those of us who do follow that concept every day of our lives? It must all be part of the Big Test, I guess.

P.S. Just got a text message from the "MIL" that said meeting halfway is fine. You bet YOUR fat blonde ass it is, that was going to be a non-negotiable point, so good for you that you agreed to it! Jeez, what is it with all the run-in's I'm having with fat ass blondes this week???

Sigh. Big Girl Panty Time

So I decided last night to fire my dad. I decided this while driving to the marriage counselor's office, and since DH couldn't make it after all I just turned the session into my own private bitchfest. (Hey, it's through MY insurance.) The therapist said that since my dad is an addict, addicts by definition make no sense and that anything he threw my way was not ever to be taken personally. Sure, I know that intellectually... but though I do believe 100% in myself and am totally confident that I can make the film I have the vision for, since I am a brand new filmmaker I still have doubts and insecurities about technical aspects and that is where my dad is aiming his blows at me. See, on the trailer shoot, I would start a thought about something and my dad would finish it for me, usually to my great agreement and satisfaction. So while firing him would free me up to be, well, free and not so oppressed and in fear of the next snide remark he might make or exasperated eye roll, now I'm gonna have to finish those thoughts on the technical side of things all by myself. And that frightens me a little b/c I just don't know enough about that stuff.

For example, interior lighting. I think I can get away with doing the whole entire shoot with just 1-2 lights and I did observe my dad carefully when he set up the lights during the trailer shoot. I took away a few valuable lessons, like when my brother did the B-roll shots of the Lt.'s kids playing in her living room, and how we did not have nearly enough light and we should've turned on all the lights in the room for that. Lesson learned: more lights are always better!!! So I'm learning. But I'm still very insecure. And now I have no idea how I'm gonna get a 2nd camera for the July shoot. Well, if I gotta pay $175 to rent it then I gotta put on my big girl panties and pay $175. And it'll just have to be worth it b/c I will be breathing easier and having 100% fun on the shoot without my dad there.

I've decided to wait until Monday to see if this other Reserve Deputy would like to work on the project, officially. Monday is when we have our next monthly meeting and I haven't even met this guy in person yet, so I figure I'll chat him up, suss him out, and then when the time is right offer him the job--with pay, of course. I was gonna pay my dad, I'll just pay this guy instead. And this guy seems like he would be willing to work on spec until I get the cash too.

As I told my therapist, it's just a shame. My dad needs money. I wanted and needed my dad on this project. The trailer shoot went so incredibly well, a few verbal digs at me before and after aside. I was looking forward to making this a family production and it was gonna make me so proud to be able to do that. And now my dad is shooting himself in the foot by giving me a hard time and alienating me and making me want to fire him and it makes no sense as this is not in HIS best interest. But then, he never did make much sense and he has always done very little in his best interest, his whole life.

Besides deciding to get rid of the negativity on my film shoot, I made a couple of other headways yesterday and today: my public librarian friend scanned and sent me the original news articles from 1978 and 1979 on the 2 Reserve deputies' deaths! I even got the obit on one of them! And this morning I got a call from the director himself of the National Reserve Law Officers Association and he said absolutely I can use a certain image and quote they have on their homepage that I am dying to use. He also said when my film website is ready to go send him the link and they'll link to me! This is just about enough to cheer me up today, I swear.

Il Pater Familias - I Have Had It!!!

So I called Laszlo last night to tell him about my Reserve deputy friend and the kind of camera he was offering me to use, and then Laszlo completely tears into me with his badgering me about my wanting to use 2 cameras on the shoot in July. He just has this way of questioning me that sounds like he thinks I am completely ignorant and ridiculous. The exchange was kind of like this:

Me: Unfortunately we can't get his camera for the July shoot b/c he's gonna be out of town.
L: Ok well we can use your brother's camera.
Me: I'll still need a 2nd camera.
L: I can get one from [the guy who lent us his camera for the trailer shoot]. But why do you need 2 cameras on that shoot?
Me: So we can get as much B-roll in as little amount of time possible, and/or to get different angles of the same shot.
L: So who's gonna operate these cameras? You need a professional camera operator! You have your brother for the main camera... I guess [tone of voice sounding like he doesn't think much of my brother as a cameraman after all!!!]... who would be on your brother's camera?
Me: Well I guess I can do it!
L: Do you know how to operate a camera? [tone of voice revealing that he thinks the idea of me operating a camera is totally laughable]
Me: I can operate HIS camera! It's just a camcorder! I've used it before!

---I feel I just have to interject here that my dad gave me a copy of Robert Rodriguez' "10 Minute Film School" to read and had me do that guerilla shoot with him at the Steve Earle concert last month and the moral of all that is that in order to be a filmmaker you must simply begin to MAKE FILMS! So now he's giving me a hard time about my wanting to get behind a camera and MAKE MY FILM?!?!?! I DON'T FUCKING GET HIM!!!---

(continued):
L: Well, I would recommend you get a professional, experienced camera operator on that shoot!
Me: Well I don't have the money to pay anyone!
L: I can get you one! I have those contacts!
Me: Oh really! Someone who'll work for free, all day long, those 3 days?!?
L: YES!
Me: Ok, then go for it. Fine.
L: But I still question your desire for 2 cameras. Why would you possibly need 2 cameras?
Me: For example, if we shoot the warrants team getting into a car and driving away. I could get a couple of different angles on that one shot and not have to ask the warrants team to do it for me 5 different times!
L: Well an experienced cameraman could get that shot for you.
Me: [bewildered silence]
L: It's just more efficient. 2 cameras is a waste of time, effort, and film.
Me: But it's MY time, effort and film and I don't care!
L: I don't mean to be naysaying you, just send me your shooting plan for that weekend and I'll give you some feedback.
Me: What do you mean, shooting plan, you mean a shot-by-shot list?
L: No! Just your general outline of what we'll be doing.
Me: I sent that to you 2 weeks ago!
L: Ok well I've been having Internet problems so I'll look at it now and get back to you.

Me, after hanging up and angrily calling my brother:
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH DADDY?!?! HE AGREED WITH ME A MONTH AGO THAT 2 CAMERAS ON THIS SHOOT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA AND NOW HE'S GIVING ME A HARD TIME ABOUT IT AND HE HAS BEEN SAYING I NEED TO BE THINKING ABOUT THE ARTISTIC ELEMENTS OF MY FILM BUT IF I WANT TO DO A BEAUTIFULLY EDITED QUICK SHOT LIKE THE ONE SCORSESE DID IN THE LAST WALTZ WHEN RONNIE HAWKINS WAS SINGING "WHO DO YOU LOVE" AND IN ORDER TO DO THAT I'LL NEED MORE THAN 1 CAMERA THEN WHY IS HE QUESTIONING ME AND BADGERING ME AND NAYSAYING ME ABOUT THIS?!?!?!?!?
My brother: I have no idea.

Later, after I forced myself to stop my tears of frustration, I remembered that when I went to assist on my dad's conjunto festival shoot the day before we did the trailer shoot, he used 4 fucking cameras!!! 3 on tripods: 1 wide, 1 on the bass player, and 1 on the accordion player. And then my dad did handheld onstage!!! For a static, low-action musical show on a stage?!?!?!?!? And now he's questioning MY wanting to use 2 cameras for an entire weekend of dynamic, active shooting! What. The. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I may have to end up firing him after all. This is exactly what I was afraid would end up happening, his belittling me and trying to make me feel like shit. In order to fire him though I will need to find someone who will help me edit the film and I'll also need to find someone who will lend me a light kit. I may have to see if this Reserve deputy guy wouldn't mind helping me--he did say yesterday that he was "excited" about my project. I will try calling him maybe tomorrow so I don't sound too desperate. The Major did email me back to say that we will meet with the 2nd Baptist church film people in the next 2 weeks. Hopefully they'll help me too.

Gwine To Do Some Running Tonite

It is 104 degrees outside--even I will admit that's a bit much. I had to drive the Library minivan today and I had the a/c turned almost all the way up and it was still hot as Hades. In a bit I will leave Job #2, head down the street to a new running partner's house, and we'll do a wee bit of running hopefully in only double-digit heat.

I met a Reserve deputy whose business is getting videos up on websites. He also has a background in tv/film production and owns all kinds of equipment and even a good camera. Best of all, he says he'll help me for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only bad thing is he is in the military Reserves and is being deployed next month so I will not be able to use his camera for my end of July weekend shoot. I am still waiting to hear from the Chief and/or Major on meeting up with these 2nd Baptist church film folk to see if they can help me too. What is the damn holdup?!?!

And in silly news, last night I talked on the phone to my first love--an NYPD cop and a total goofball as well as being a freelance keyboardist with strange tastes in music--who confirmed he is coming home to Houston this fall for his 20th high school reunion. I heard myself begging him to take me as his date! That's one of those things you blurt out and then remember, "Oh wait, I'm married and perhaps need to check with my husband before I go around offering up my escort services." Still, it would be kinda fun as I haven't seen him since around 2003 and he always amuses me. (p.s. In fact, he's the one that took the photo of me in Times Square that graces this blog up under the heading!)

Really, Really Sore

As in, hurting sore. I had a "perio-maintenance" cleaning today at the dentist and this particular hygienist was really rough and quite brutal, I must say. She said, "Bear with me" a couple of times, meaning get ready for she was about to rock my world. That was 9 hours ago and I am still sore! The whole situation pisses me off. I have great, healthy, huge teeth (thanks, pater familias) with no plaque but I have major gum issues. I brush twice/day and floss every night thanks to the pain of having forked over $800+ for my periodontal surgery last year. I've even started using a mouth rinse too. Only to find out that I still have issues that I should not be having, post-surgical year?!? I am P.O.'d!

Enough of that. I had a really great meeting today with the Chief, the Major, and our attorney. The new Reserves office assistant and a fellow Reserve deputy who was just hanging out sat in on the meeting too. I have everyone's 100% support. They are all going to help me accomplish this goal of getting my documentary film made. I am going to open up a bank account into which we can deposit any donations. The Major has contacts for fundraising, etc. The lawyer tweaked my release form for me. Then we all watched the trailer, which they liked. (Though the Chief and Major had issues with something one of my interviewees, another Major, said and they said they would prefer I remove that quote--not sure if that means I HAVE to do it, or if they were just expressing their opinion?! Mudflap said he loves that quote and apparently even the Major in question tried to defend himself with the Chief when they discussed it. I defended it to them too, reminding them that this is just the trailer and the film will flesh things out and wipe away any concerns they have. Hey man, opinions are like assholes...)

Tired and sore, about to leave Job #2 and go meet up with DH at the Mezz. Maybe I'll feel like chewing some potato skins. Great weekend though. DH had Sat. AND Sun. off so we had a fun family weekend, went to the pool, went to watch Jaws at Auntie R.'s house, Father's Day spent at the movies, watched El Mariachi with the director's comments, and I managed to transcribe 1 of the 4 interviews. It would help if I had someone to pause the DVD while I concentrated on typing; picking up the remote, pressing Pause, then picking up the remote again and pressing Play takes up valuable time! But, Robert Rodriguez did it all himself, so I can too.

My Weekend Future is Transcriptions

It occurred to me a few days ago that while I'm sitting around waiting for the next shoot (last weekend in July) I could still do work on the 4 interviews I currently have "in the can." B/c editing that stuff for the trailer is one thing; editing it for the film is a totally different thing! Then I remembered how challenging it was to keep finding the footage/sound bites I liked in order to stick them into the trailer. I mean, by then I had watched the 3 DVD's so many times that I pretty much knew where they were but there were a few times while editing with my dad when I was like, "Ok, I thought s/he talked about that one part after they talked about this other part" and I was wrong! So I had to do a little hunting at times, which slowed the editing process down.

So after reading Robert Rodriguez's book and how he did all this syncing up stuff by hand (for various reasons he shot El Mariachi completely without sound!!! Later he just taped the actors' dialogue into a tape recorder and then had to sync it all up to the video so it matched!!!) and then realizing that at least he had a SCRIPT he could follow, and realizing that I do not have the benefit of having a script b/c it's a DOCUMENTARY, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks that I would probably be doing myself a huge favor for later editing of the film by completely transcribing the 3 DVD's. Whoa! That's a big project!!! But I better get started on it. I think that's what I'll focus on this weekend. Hopefully I'll get it all done in one day, i.e., tomorrow b/c #1. I type really fucking fast and #2. As stated before I already am intimately familiar with the DVD's and the interviews. I already got a head start by just creating 4 different Word doc's with the interview questions (they were all pretty much asked the same questions) and getting those in order for each person. And I already typed the answers to the questions that I know by heart from making the trailer. I spoke to Bean about this who confirmed he always does his interview/program transcription too and reminded me it don't have to be word for exact word!

So tomorrow my day with the baby will consist of getting her signed up for the Summer Reading Program at the library, maybe doing some grocery shopping, then getting us home so I can work on the transcription project! Sunday is Father's Day of course, so naturally we'll be concentrating on DH that day, taking him out to eat, seeing a movie, whatever he wants to do. BTW he and I had a marriage counseling session Weds. night (first time since March! Just b/c we've been so damn busy) and it went well. We still have some issues to work out and we need to practice our "dialoguing" technique according to our therapist. Then again, who doesn't need to practice that, ha! Anyway, she is, as always, very helpful.

Monday: meeting with the Chief to hopefully finalize our fiscal sponsorship arrangement, meaning then I can FINALLY publicize the Reserves film website and get my Facebook page going!!! They are up and ready, I just need to pull the trigger! I need to send out some more press releases as well. It occurred to me when I was at the academy the other night that it wouldn't hurt to send them to the many law enforcement magazines as well.

My 1st In-Kind Donation!

As the title states, I got my first one today!!! I am beyond excited. Taqueria Arandas is going to feed my film crew on our shooting weekend of July 24-6!!!!! Well, one meal but still! Them's good eatin' and I told them it would not include server gratuity, since that is the right thing to do. I'm also excited b/c they called me. I mailed 3 letters this past weekend and I was wondering if I should just wait to hear from the 3 restaurants I contacted or if I should muster up all the gumption I could muster, put on my big girl panties and call them. Because I'm a big ol' chicken when asking for sales/donations/money (I feel your pain, J2!) and that's why I sucked in Mary Kay! So... now that I have a tiny bit of confidence going, maybe I WILL call up the other 2 restaurants! I also put Arandas' logo and link on my Reserves Film website. Why not. Don't cost nothin'. Well--nothin' extra. Besides, that new Sponsors page I just created was so sad and empty, now at least there's 1 business name and logo there!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhh, I had fun last night at the academy. The deadly Sgt. S was there and he had asked me to come early so he could review some Krav Maga drills with me. He is out of his damn mind. He's in a week-long KM class at the academy ($700, gulp--but well worth it!) and he was all bruised up and down his arms and it looked very painful. Then he pulls out his placebo knife and wants to play KM warrior with me! I love him. He calls me "Bella", one of the few people that can get away with doing that! Damn, I miss Krav Maga. I wish I had the $ to take regular classes. Next year, next year when we're out of debt...

After I learned some knife defense tactics, I went to check on the notebook graders (deputies from the last graduating class were grading the cadets' notebooks) and I graded 2 just for fun. Bad news: we are down to only about 6 sheriff cadets (the rest are either constable or fire marshal). I was going to put 2-3 in my film so the pickin's are a little too slim for comfort now. I am nervous. I am going to have to decide on 3 for the film and pray that at least 2 of them graduate...in March!!!

Recharged!

Wow, I think I'm on to something here. Yesterday was the first day in months that I have had completely unscheduled, i.e., absolutely nothing on the agenda. It was bliss and today I feel really well-rested and my batteries feel totally recharged. Yesterday nobody was after me to do something for them, I wasn't busy rushing around trying to get a million things done, my to-do list consisted of things that were entirely do-able at home, and while it felt very strange I totally basked in the wonderfulness of it.

Yesterday I finished reading Robert Rodriguez's book and was so happy to do so b/c I have a pile of other filmmaking books that need reading and since they're from the library I better get to 'em. Mano was over at our house and he made lunch for us. DH and I caught up on a little 24. I did some laundry. I did some more documentary research. Lord!!! It was a great day!!! Later DH and Mano split to go and do a radiator flush on our car and I debated not going out at all. But then I figured there would be no better time to go buy bras (I saw a story on the Today show that said you have to replace bras every 9 months. WTF?!?! and... Yikes! I got bras older than my and DH's relationship) so I ran out to Marshall's and got 5 bras for $44. Yay for me! But that took me all of 20 min. and then I was back home, relaxing, reading, resting. I need more of those days!!!!!!!

Microfilm Reader No-Fun

So via chat reference I had 4 microfilms pulled for me to review: 2 1970's era Houston Chronicle's and Houston Post's (our defunct city newspaper), respectively. Since I am going to be working like the Jamaican/Mexican that I am tomorrow ALL DAY LONG downtown at the convention center, I got to leave Job #1 early today so I grabbed the opportunity to run downtown to the Central library to look at these microfilms, in search of the 2 actual articles about my fallen Reserve brothers in 1978 and 1979. Color me dumbfounded when I saw that the *3* microfilm readers were occupied and I was going to have to wait!!! Are you fuckin' kidding me?!?! Who the HELL searches microfilm nowadays?!?! OMG. Although there was an hour time limit the librarians had not been keeping track (of course they hadn't!) so I waited 10 min. and then blew it off. Instead I went downstairs and checked out even more books on filmmaking. I have many public librarian friends and one of them will be bribed to find and get the articles for me; in return she'll get a thank you credit in the film, heh heh.

I have sent out my press release to the 4 major local networks and several of the local major newspapers. I need to identify more news/magazine outlets. Today I will be mailing out some in-kind donation beg letters. Might as well get those going; if there's one thing Mary Kay taught me it's go out and collect those "no"'s! Because they will undoubtedly lead to a "yes" eventually! Meanwhile, li'l bro is on board for the shooting weekend next month. And last night I attempted to watch Seven Samurai, all 4 hours of it, for artistic inspiration. Oh well, at least I got through a couple hours. That movie ain't goin' nowhere!

Now I'm at Job #2 supposed to be paying attention to this webcast "Data for a Downturn Economy" so I better get back to it. I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend until I remembered about having to work the convention center tomorrow. Sunday I don't know what's going on. It would be so great to have a whole day off for once but if DH decides to go on patrol I probably will too, just to get it out of the way.

C'mon People, Blog!

I hate it when my friends don't blog. Why? Because I'm nosy. B/c I don't get to hang out with them very much and I want to know what's going on in their lives. B/c I care!!!

I forgot to mention the fun night I gave myself on Monday night after Job #2. I took myself to see Lincoln Hall, a mountaineering lunatic. He was left for dead on Mt. Everest in 2006 and came back to life from cerebral edema! He seems fine now except for he lost the last joints of all his fingers. Maniac! I love these crazy mountaineer guys. He talked at REI and gave a slideshow presentation of his trials on my favorite mountain, Chomolungma! Still, although I am endlessly fascinated with Mt. Everest I have no desire to see her in person. Too damn cold. I was also amused that during the Q&A portion of his talk, I understood 95% of what they were talking about (Khuumbu Icefall, belay, Rheinhold Messner) even though I have never been rock-climbing or mountaineering in my life!

The Chief approved my press release and is sending to the Sheriff's PIO to check it over before release. I fully expect to be invited to talk on all the morning news programs and am ready for interview requests from all the major Houston newspapers, including non-English! I have my proposed shooting schedule for July 24-26 and spoke to one of my stars last night; he's ready too. I've got my production assistant, Auntie R., on board and need to confirm w/my dad and bro. I am also trying to become a Walter Murch disciple. I will attend a movie marketing workshop at the end of this month. Makin' movies is a lot of damn work!

I Hate... To Wait...!

Arrrrgggh! The Chief has rescheduled the appt. we had this Friday to the week of the 22nd. AAARRRGGGHH! I am an impatient type, that is true. I just believe in by God getting things done! I'm a walker, not a talker. I ain't got time to talk b/c I'm so damn busy walking. I think I have gone above and beyond in proving that, my entire life!

I hate to wait!!! I got shit to do! Press releases to send out! A fundraiser to plan! Websites to launch publicly! A shooting schedule to finalize! People to keep on my payroll! Facebook pages to create! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to breathe. I am just gonna have to see if my dad can call in another favor and get the camera for the weekend of July 24-26 and I am gonna have to scrape together some of my own $ to pay my dad b/c now that school is out he is unemployed and it is the right thing to do to pay him some $ for the work he's done so far and will do in July.

For real, this breathing thing... I've noticed in the past few days I have caught myself not breathing. Sitting in a chair, sitting in a car, working on the computer, etc. I am going without breathing for like, 5-6 seconds at a time and that means the stress is piling on even subconsciously. So when I catch myself doing that I try to breathe deep to fix whatever the problem is. I just got done reading this great book though and I can relate, man! It was such an enjoyable read and I totally got them, i.e., trying desperately to make a movie with no $, researching filmmaking like a madman, praying the right people believe in you...

Well, at least while I'm biding my time and sitting around on my ass waiting for the right people to give me the go-ahead, I can continue educating myself. I also need to keep thinking about my script, and as all filmmakers know, the script is a constantly evolving, living, breathing creature that you have given birth to. I also need to read, read, read more, more, more! Today I picked up this Walter Murch book (from the library, natch) and have Robert Rodriguez' Rebel Without a Crew on the way. And as always, there are more documentaries to watch, study, get inspiration from. I've noticed for example that lately over the past few years they all tend to be mostly handheld. My dad HATES handheld, but then again he's a dinosaur. Of course, I love the handheld look!

Convinced My Weekends Are Shorter Than Everyone Else's

I am serious. I mean it seems that Every Single Damn Sunday evening I finally, at long last, have a little down time to relax and take a breather and chill out, and I get ready to do just that when I check the clock and it's like, 10pm and time to get ready to think about going to bed, my last free night before my fully-packed Monday work week begins. Arrrggh! Where was my down time to read? watch a movie/DVD? pick a flower? do some yoga? GONE!

Admittedly, this past weekend was way fun, it was just too packed with activity as ALWAYS. I feel like I am always complaining about that, and you'd think I could take control of my weekends and make them mine, but I really, really can't. The family reunion on Sat. was pretty enjoyable although it was extremely hot outside (the 3 Corona beers helped) and I only had room to eat 3 desserts but the baby had the time of her life running around playing with the other kids and Auntie R. and I got to relax in the shade and catch up.

Sat. night's Accordion Kings was not as enjoyable as it usually is, and to this I can only attribute that even though the baby and I were comfortable on our blanket on the hill and my good friend K. joined us with her daughter and another little girl, it just wasn't as satisfying to me b/c I was way out on the hill and not down in seats, close to the stage action. I truly need to be up close to be happy when it comes to concerts so I can absorb all the details. I mean... that's all there is to it. The End.

Sunday a.m. I did get to lounge by the pool with DH and the baby after I taught my morning class on behalf of Job #1, and that was nice, getting in my first good pool time of the season. I noticed later that my skin didn't tan though, thanks to slathering myself in sunscreen! I am constantly thinking in the back of my mind, "Skin cancer... melanoma... UVA/UVB..." even though I do enjoy getting darker in the summertime. Oh well.

Sunday night was the wrestling PPV at WingsNmore, which DH and I haven't done in a long time. That event in public is always amusing!

This week: try to wrap up all the loose ends I can on my documentary planning before the meeting on Friday with the Chief and his goons. I got a few phone calls and emails to send and the press release to FINISH! My friend K. said she'd lend me a laptop to use during the duration of my film project so I can accomplish more things faster and I am going to take her up on the offer!

Pluggin' Away

I continue to forge ahead. Today I received my letter of support/endorsement from the Chief. I have made a contact at St. Arnold's beer to see if they can donate their fine product to my fundraising event. I have almost decided on the event location, although I am waiting to get the Reserves' 501(c)3 IRS letter which I will need. And I have a meeting set up for next Friday with the Chief and a few of his staff to discuss this fiscal sponsorship thing and my fundraising ideas. As soon as we iron out those details the Reserves Film website will be ready to launch publicly although I also need to figure out how to get PayPal up there since folks love to donate with their CC's. I have also pretty much finished my press release to be sent out ASAP!

Tomorrow is my next guerilla film shoot. It will be a family reunion, my dad's side of the family and I'm glad I will be busy shooting/interviewing b/c I am quite sure I have nothing in common with most of the people that will be there. They are all small-town types, and generally have no higher education to any of their names although most have immediate family members either serving or have served time. However they do tend to be champion beer drinkers and some of them are quite musical. My great-grandfather, an interesting man who lived to be in his 90's and was also a pedophile, played wonderful accordion for example. I happen to be the current owner of his accordion and will be bringing it along for the occasion; I'll also bring my acoustic guitar b/c one of my dad's uncles wants to play it.

BTW, thank you God, for allowing me to be born to my particular father and mother who are the 2 incredible, brilliant, shining standouts from both of their respective familes, my father if only for his amazing intellect and creativity! Jesus, did I narrowly escape a horrible fate otherwise. I shudder and fall to my knees in gratitude...

And tomorrow night is Accordion Kings! Now that will be a soul-filling event, as it always is.

An Actual Quote From An Email Today

This is taken from an email from my dad to my brother that my dad copied me on. I actually sort of believe he means it, too:

"I want you to know that our recent activities in attempting to assist Adela in her film project have been a true joy in my life. I am amazed at how quickly she has aquired true film producing skills and I marvel at the talent she possesses to make things come together."

He Liked It! He Really Liked It

Yes, the Chief liked my trailer, said I am off to a great start, said it was very much as he had envisioned it! And zero criticisms. Whoa. We met for about an hour yesterday and we talked much filmmaking business and strategies. He offered up the use of the Reserves as my fiscal sponsor since we are a 501(c)3 and said they wouldn't charge me anything (whereas SWAMP would charge 7.5%). He offered up the use of the cameras, editing equipment, and staff at a certain Houston megachurch that apparently does all of the Sheriff's media/film work--for free! He will set up an appt. with me and my production manager (my dad) and the church staff. He said he'll sign a letter of support for me to use for my fundraising tactics. He said to let him know how else he could help! I was blown away. I got right on it last night, formulating my fundraising ideas and writing that letter of support for him to sign. There's a lot to do though before I can resume filming:

1. Decide on who to use as my fiscal sponsor for once the checks start rolling in.
2. Update the Reserves Film website with this info and see about getting PayPal on there?
   
3. Get the Chief's letter of support; then I will be well armed!
4. Write a bunch of fundraising letters to my list of cop-friendly local businesses, org's, individuals. Attach the Chief's letter to all of them.
5. Write a press release; send out to media immediately (one of my filmmaking books said to get the media involved even before shooting. Ok.)
6. Meet with the church folks to see if they will truly be on board with me (the Chief says they will be, but I need to see/hear this from them for myself).

Shooting resumes in July no matter what. Maybe even June if I can swing it, but this will depend on $ and/or being able to use the church's resources.

Nerrrrrrrvous!

Today I meet with the Chief to show him the trailer. Personally, I think he's gonna love it. If he loves it then I can pitch to him my fundraising and publicity ideas and how I will need his approval and partnership. HOWEVER, there's always that chance that he'll be very critical of the trailer and have all kinds of inputs and demands and if that happens, well, it might be all over for me. Because I have a great vision and if I cannot see my vision through over this next year then what's the point?

So if he tells me he loves it and it's "kick-ass" just like he described this whole idea in the first place, then I can proceed to being a little nervous about talking to him about the budget, which is now up to almost $30K. It was bumped up due mostly to salaries to pay the some of the best filmmaking people in town to work on my film (final editing, sound, etc). I also put some salary in there for myself b/c my dad and his girlfriend advised me to. I had planned on doing this film as a labor of love but then they told me how much work this is going to be, and so I agreed to give myself some $ after all. Especially since working on the film is bound to interfere with Job #2 (as it has already) and I will definitely be losing money by working less hours there. Hopefully the Chief will not have a problem with the price tag, even though it is an extremely low pricetag to begin with! But if he wants this film done and done right, he'll support me. I'm not even going to ask him for any $, just a letter of support and for him to let me show the trailer at the June Reserves meeting and then ask everyone for donations--provided I get my fiscal sponsorship in place by then, and I am mailing off that proposal this week!

My TFPF app was received in Austin yesterday, whew. They get 200 applications every year and they only fund 20 of them, or 10%. I asked for $5K. When I attended their workshop it seemed that even those projects they funded they never gave the applicants as much $ as they requested, so I asked for $5K thinking that if I was awarded funds maybe they'd give me $1-2K. Oh lord--as always, the suspense is killing me.

Meanwhile, an awesomely fun weekend was had by all this past weekend. DH managed to get Saturday off, a miracle in itself. We went to Space Center Houston which was great. We spent so much time there we got to the yuppie baby shower 2 hours into it, which was also great b/c then I didn't have to talk to too many yuppies and spent almost my whole time eating! And Sunday we took the baby and her Auntie R. to see Up, which was a great little film. We ended up after that at the "Chuck", Chuck E. Cheese and seeing my hated MIL there was not so bad. She brought the baby all kinds of gifts (though didn't let the baby open them herself, just pulled them out of gift bags to show the baby, saying repeatedly, "Isn't this cool? Isn't that cool?") and some of it was actually stuff we need, like the baby's own clothes hamper, little trash can, new sheets, comforter, etc. Fortunately the MIL left early though on her way out she actually came and gave me and Auntie R. HUGS!!! (ew!!!) but unfortunately, that meant I did not have a chance to sit her fat ass down as I had planned and have my serious discussion with her about how she needs to watch herself from now on and accept her boundaries if she knows what's good for her. I told her we will be talking soon though and she said that would be fine.

What is it Like to Have a Free Weekend?

For real... I cannot even remember. The kinda weekend where you got nothing to do but watch tv and garden. Not that I garden but you know what I mean.

Tonight: Free Concert at Miller Outdoor Theater with a female prodigy upright bass player. See why I LOVE living in Houston?!?! DH and the baby will meet me at Job #1 so we can drive over there together (a 2-minute drive!)

Tomorrow: Space Center Houston! DH got 2 tix as a gift and I bought a discount one online.
We also have to go to Babies 'R Us to get a baby shower gift for J. Fu.
Tomorrow night: J. Fu's fun family baby shower at her millionaire friends' house. Unfortunately that means I will be surrounded by yuppies, BLECCCHHH!!! The things we do for our friends.

Sunday: the baby's 7th birthday. We will be going to Incredible Pizza way up north and the reason we are doing that is b/c my hated MIL is going to meet us there to bring the baby her presents. This is the 1st time I am going to allow the baby and my MIL to meet in 3 years. I am going to try to be civil and try and get beyond my hatred for her for DH's and the baby's sake. But that woman is not to be trusted and as long as she is civil then I will be too. (Bitch!)

So the latest thing is that my dad has dropped more than 1 hint to me that he is going to need $ this summer. I have put funds into my budget for him so I have no problem paying him for his work. I am hoping the upside is that he will continue to NOT be mean to me like I was worried he might be during this whole filmmaking process b/c if he wants to NOT get fired and get paid then he will continue to be nice.

My application to the TFPF was mailed off today so now I do not have to think about it at all this weekend. I am a little concerned b/c they advise against sending in a trailer as your video sample, saying they prefer to get an extended scene so they can get an idea of your storytelling abilities, but my theatrical trailer is all I have. I am hoping it will still blow them away!

Ok Now Mostly Exhausted

After getting home last night at around 9pm (the Mudflap voiceover recording session was excruciating, as I knew it would be) I finished up some paperwork, made some phone calls, ate a quick 1/2 sandwich (with all this running around I am not having time to eat much so I am actually down a couple pounds, yay) and collapsed into bed. But at 1am my phone rang; it was DH calling me from downstairs where he said he was deathly ill and indeed, when I went downstairs to check he was lying face down in the hallway, 1/2 in the bathroom, sick with stomach flu and/or food poisoning! So off I go to the Kroger for Sprite, Immodium, and Kaopectate. It was a long night of fetching Sprite for him and eventually, helping him upstairs where he could lie on the floor, a wastebasket by his head in case he could not make it to the bathroom. I slept probably around 3 hours.

And up way too early this morning (6 am) to go pick up my dad and take him to the school so we could get the new Mudflap voiceovers onto the trailer and adjust a few other minor things. But after 3 hours of this I could not take it anymore and made the executive decision to just "print it." Still, the trailer is better and I am even more pleased with it now!

I found way too many gray hairs on my head this morning. But this is still a way fun project. I have an appt. with the chief for next Tuesday to watch the trailer and discuss fundraising ideas. My TFPF app's are almost done and will be ready to mail tomorrow. I am picking up my dad after work tonight and he will give me 10 copies of the trailer on DVD. On Monday I will mail out my fiscal sponsorship application, and the $50 application fee is thanks to my mom who has given me my 1st donation to the project!

And this weekend I can finally RELAX a little, breathe, read, and enjoy the baby's 7th birthday on Sunday. At least for a little while until I get back to trying to figure out ways to raise the rest of the $ for my now $26,000+ film.

The Life of a Documentary Trailer

1. Get a bunch of raw footage. In my case this consisted of 4 interviews, 3 locations, and a bunch of B-roll which all came to almost 3 hours.
2. Spend hours with the raw footage and a laptop, watching the footage over and over and over again to massage and cull all those lines of dialogue into a fascinating script. Type those interesting lines of dialogue into your script. The first time I reviewed the footage I did so only while listening, for the best dialogue that jumped out at me.
   
3. After 2 weeknights of doing this (with one night off which I actually recommend b/c sometimes you will just need a break from the footage b/c you've been on top of it too much and need to come back to it a little fresh), now it is time to edit. Go pick up your dad and his computer w/Avid editing software, his monitor, his speakers, your new hard drive, etc. and set it all up in your dining room. Make sure there is plenty of Shiner Bock for him.
   
4. Begin editing, aiming for a 4-minute trailer. We did so in a linear style, going line by line down my script and setting up all the ducks (scenes) in a row. First we did the interviews. This was very tricky b/c you have to catch people mid-sentence sometimes and cut their lines in and out carefully. Fortunately my dad is a MASTER of Avid and Avid is sensitive down to the damn frame so though it was tricky it was mostly easy to do.
5. Toss in the music which really makes the trailer look and sound so much more professional!
   
6. After all the ducks were in a row we had an over 6-minute trailer. So now it's time to cut the fat, meaning we took out when people said things like "I know" and some dialogue that I thought was superfluous. HOWEVER--there was actually not that much fat to cut so we ended up with a final total running time (TRT) of 5:54.
7. Chop up the music a little bit, seeing as how it is a 4-minute 33-second song and so we needed more of it. So we extended it creatively. Easy and fun!
   
8. Find the good B-roll footage shots and insert those on top of the interviews where appropriate. Mostly we tried to hide jump cuts of people talking and mostly we were able to do that. However, I don't mind jump cuts! I think it just shows realism. (My dad hates them.)
   
9. Argue with your dad over a couple of creative differences. For example in my case, I like that shaky handheld camera work my brother did on a couple of shots--my dad hates it. Also some effects he suggested inserting. I thought some of them looked "too TV." I did accept one of them though, just to avoid fighting over it.
   
10. Now that the trailer is really starting to look good and like an actual real movie trailer, time to do the audio fix. Lower and raise dialogue/music where necessary.
    
11. Next it's time to do the color correction on everybody and the B-roll footage. #'s 10 and 11 are done shot by shot, scene by scene, BTW. That Avid is incredible! It can make grass look greener, people look suntanned and healthy, too-dark shots with no lighting look perfect, etc.!
    
12. Add your logo "2:10 Train Productions" to the beginning and you're done.
    
13. Make a copy from the computer to a DVD. Watch it on a real TV and be totally impressed!
    
14. Show it to the world, start collecting checks from rich folk who by God are now dying to see this damn fascinating film get made!!!

So I left out a few other steps, such as find out your dad forgot his universal power cord so run to the Radio Shack to buy one for too much $ (save the receipt, return it today!), run to the Walgreens to buy a DVD+RW since all you have in your house are DVD-R's, listen to your dad cuss up a storm when the computer won't cooperate, and also we will be totally re-recording all of Mudflap's dialogue b/c where we shot him in the lobby of the academy had too much echo so there is an annoying "hum" whenever he shows up on screen and my dad says we can fix that easily since Avid couldn't. So we're doing that tomorrow night.

So after 2 days of work and about 10 Shiner Bocks I now have this trailer. I have shown it to several people now and they all say they like it and maybe they do. But the important thing, and all my moviemaking books I've been reading lately say this, plus my dad told me a couple of times, is that I have to like it. And I do, though I'm sure I'll love it once we fix the remaining technical issues. I am hoping to show it to the Chief next week--he should love it and I think he will!

Now I have tons of paperwork to do: proposals to write, applications to fill out, and get my TFPF stuff in the mail (sent certified mail) out by Monday at the latest and of course everything has to be sent in quadruplet so Kinko's here I come. I was hoping to mail it on Friday just so I get it over with. My dad helped me on my budget a lot too so I am just going to say that's finished, finally! Total cost of the project: almost $23,000! Yow!

Exhausted, Energized, Exhilirated

Because tonight at 5:30 pm I FINISHED MY DOC TRAILER!!! I had to pick up my dad from the middle school on Fri. evening and we packed up his computer, speakers, my hard drive, etc. etc. and yesterday we set it all up in my dining room. My dad and I worked on it yesterday from 3:30p-7:30p, after which I worked on it by myself from 8:30p-10:30p. Then this morning I picked up my dad at 9am after which we worked on it some more until my 2p dentist appt. and then again from 3:30p-5:30p. It is 5:54 long so long for a trailer but my dad and I honestly could not find any more fat to cut--my trailer script is that good, heh heh.

So tonight when we finished I took him and his equipment back to his girlfriend's house and we begged her to watch my trailer with a critical eye. She did not want us watching her watch it though so we waited outside. My dad's girlfriend is the Director of the Southwest Alternate Media Project so she's, you know, seen it all, right? Well when she emerged 6 min. later my dad and I looked up only to see her eyes filled with tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She declared my trailer "very good" and said a few minor technical glitches aside it was ready to show to the world. Holy crap!!! She made me tear up, dammit! But I believe much of the credit goes to the heartbreaking beautiful music I'm using, a piece my friend wrote, which really tugs at the heart strings. My dad pointed out to his girlfriend that this was my first project ever, and then he even told me "Great work, Adela." I just hope he meant it.

So now I'm just hoping the damn film can live up to the trailer. As much work as this trailer was I'm just trying to imagine how much work this entire film will be. I have to say though: it's pretty fun. My dad is already urging me to make another documentary on another subject which I am very passionate about and I'm ready to start pre-production on it too!

A 3 Day Weekend, You Say? What's That Like?

There's strong evidence that lots of folks took off from work today and will do so tomorrow. Something having to do with a holiday on Monday! I can't believe it. I want to slap myself silly b/c, while it's true I do have to work a patrol shift at some point--and I believe that will be the early shift on Sunday so I can also be out when DH is out on the river--as Gilda Radner says, "It's always something" and I seem to be powerless to stop these "somethings" from interfering with my life.

Turns out my father and I will attempt to edit my trailer(s?) tomorrow evening since his editing software is loaded on his computer at the middle school school where he teaches video and Friday night is the only time this weekend we'll be able to get inside the school. And Monday for some strange reason I have a dental cleaning scheduled for 2pm. But otherwise, besides the Sunday patrol shift, I'm free! Free! Oh wait, except for the Saturday night screening of this new movie called The Boys of Ghost Town. Ok, so other than that, I'm free. EXCEPT...

A friend of mine and fellow Board member of the High-spanic Health Coalition just had a baby on May 1 (the due date was supposed to be my b-day so while I'm miffed the little ankle biter came early I'm glad he's a May baby!). Well, she posted on her Facebook that she needed our thoughts and prayers b/c she is depressed and having a hard time. Uh-oh. I promptly emailed our 2 mutual friends to ask what we can do! I got the girls all fired up to go and do something except for one of them will be out of town this weekend. But the other one said she was available and I said she better be b/c I cannot go by myself b/c I don't know nothing about no babies. So I may perhaps be busy being a newborn-sitter either on Saturday or Monday. See what I mean? I get hardly any kind of break on my so-called holidays! But as I said before, I am powerless over my sense of duty. My sense of duty is way overdeveloped. To my detriment? That is the question, isn't it?

Anyway, there's things for myself I'd like to do this weekend. Watch this documentary Ballou! Read my new library books! Sit by the pool! Clean my new dresser drawers that I still haven't cleaned since J. brought it over what, a month ago? Smell the damn flowers. Shit, man. Well, I guess I'll have time for those things on Monday. Or Saturday. Probably not both.

My doc budget is finally taking shape. I worked on it for 2 hrs. last night while watching the DVR of the "Idol." I just need to tighten it up and it'll be ready to send to my hopeful fiscal sponsor to take a look. However I forgot my thumb drive at home today. DH likes to sometimes chase me around the house and squeeze me with his big hands and while trying to escape through the kitchen last night I put the drive on the counter b/c I was afraid I'd spill lemonade on it, making a mental note to grab it this morning. Well, we all know how I am in the mornings so that didn't happen! But tonight I am GIVING MYSELF THE NIGHT OFF FROM JOB #2! This is HUGE. But I need it. I can't wait to go home and relax, or at least, finish my doc budget.

If Tomorrow Be My Great Gettin Up Morning

Lost a librarian colleage/old friend today. It's a testament to Life 2.0 that I found out via Twitter. Then went to Facebook and confirmed it. Coincidentally, this was just covered on NPR's All Tech Considered, or what happens to your Facebook, MySpace pages, email, etc. after you die. I don't know what happened to her but apparently it was sudden. She was not that old.

So here I am thinking. I already blogged on my funeral, or at least, I decided on the songs I want played at it. And while I did start wills for me and DH I never finished them. So publicly I'll go ahead and declare a few important will things here in case the Good Lord calls me home unexpectedly soon! And in MY dangerous line of work (you know, documentary filmmaker) that could happen at any time!

• My Fender bass guitar and amps and accordion go to my brother. Surely he'll have fun with them.
• All my other musical instruments (violin, keyboard, guitar) stay with DH. I'm sure he'll find some use for them. Maybe the baby will pick one of them up.
• All my cherished Band collection stuff (autographed CD's and other paraphernalia, T-shirts, etc.) will go to my brother. DH has no interest in any of it. J2 has permission to contact my brother and get some if it if she so desires.
• My ever-present .38 Smith and Wesson "Gus" goes to my brother. Why not.
• My cop gear and the big guns stay with DH.
• All my clothes and shoes and almost all of my jewelry go to my mom so she can pick out anything she likes. She bought some of it for me anyway so now she can have it back!
• Pearl necklace/earrings to Auntie R. Roo. Hopefully she'll wear them.
• CD collection to Bean, aka Sweet Dick Pete.
• And I want Brandon to somehow finish the film "The Reserves" for me. Ha!

I can't think of anything else I have that's valuable that DH will not end up with by default Texas law. Anyway, enjoy, ya'll!

Uh-Oh. Unsure.

On Saturday at the Steve Earle in-store at Cactus Records my father and his girlfriend brought me this slim book by legendary "Doc Doctor" Fernanda Rossi that she'd written on documentary trailers. But while she says there's indeed a difference between a "production" trailer and a "theatrical" trailer and that documentarians such as myself should make a "production" trailer for purposes of fundraising, she doesn't really outline what that means!!! All she says is that a "theatrical" trailer is an ad and like all ads they can be deceiving. She says a "production" trailer showcases your storytelling abilities.

So when I turn to YouTube for examples of documentary trailers--of which there are beaucoup--I can find tons of the theatrical kind but so far I only found a couple of the production kind. And I am even more confused b/c the only difference I can discern is that the production kind is LONGER--4 min. or more compared to ~2 min. for the typical theatrical trailer. And I am so frustrated b/c I have spent literally every one of my evenings for the past week and a half crafting a 4-min. trailer from my 3 hrs. of raw footage and it is in the style of a theatrical trailer!!!
I mean, I think it's a pretty good trailer--on paper of course--and I don't understand what else I can do. I mean, if a trailer makes you want more, more!, regardless if you're a potential funder/sponsor or a ticket buyer, what difference does it really make? And of course, I don't know anyone I can TALK to this about. I know no other documentarians besides my dad and he just told me to read the book, plus he's kind of old school.

Last night I finally finished my trailer script and I do think it is pretty good. Then again the editing process will reveal all. Here's how it starts out though:

“The Reserves”

2:10 Train Productions

[Interview #1—HH]: “I had 3 suspects who were burglarizing a house right on top of me before I was able to respond.”

[Interview #2—JD]: “As we’re driving by, basically I hear shots fired, 3 or 4 of them, it sounded very close and it sounded like they were shooting at us.”

[Interview #3—DO]: “There were probably 4 or 5 deputies with me and within seconds we were surrounded by hundreds of people that lived in that apartment complex.”

vol∙un∙teer [fades in]
[fades in] –noun
a person who voluntarily offers himself or herself for a service or undertaking. [fades in]

[HH]: “A Reserve is a person who is a licensed peace officer through the State of Texas…” [SHOT]: “Texas Peace Officer” on Badge

[JD]: “I go out and I do the normal functions as any patrol deputy does out there, handling calls, handling traffic, disturbances, shootings…”

[DO]: “We have the ability to do everything a regular deputy does, we just do it out of the goodness of our heart." [SHOT]: CU of DO’s gold badge necklace

And it gets even more exciting! The trailer shows conflict in the interviews! Love! Fear! There's funny stuff! Tragic stuff! Death! I mean... come on! So what if it's a theatrical trailer? I don't know. I may be doing this all wrong but I still believe in it. I tell you what, it took a long time to get these incues and cull these interview portions and mark down where they are on the DVD's. Hours and hours! It was fun though.

Also fun was this past weekend. I mean it was a damn hoot!!! Me and the baby were out ALL day on Saturday and even ended the day at the downtown Aquarium which is fun like you can't even believe! All for cheap! We ate lunch for free at the EMS day! We got all kinds of goodies. At the Steve Earle in-store I did my first guerilla shoot with my brother and our dad driving us absolutely batshit crazy. I shot the whole concert from the edge of the stage and Steve Earle didn't give a damn I was doing it! He even smiled at my camera and played to it a couple of times. He is so awesome!!! I love him! Anyway, me and the baby didn't get home that night 'til like 10:30pm.

DH has been in a bad way since Saturday. He has conjunctivitis and it is making him even more pissy than usual, which is already a lot thanks to his job and his sciatica. He got himself an eye patch which is amusing. Frankly it is better to stay away from him when he's being such a crab and thus I was able to pretty much finish my trailer script last night. We did have a good time on Sunday though, at Lakewood Church. They put us right up front in the 2nd row. I was sitting right behind the Sheriff and DH was sitting behind Joel Osteen's mother, who turned and grabbed my hand when Joel led the prayer for law enforcement. Joel and his wife sat a few chairs down in front of us. It was way cool! That church is hypnotizing, which is how the Christians like it, of course!

Weekend: Booked! Who's Surprised?

Actually, this weekend is only 1/2 as booked as last weekend was, though that's not saying much since last weekend was INSANE, leaving me only time to eat (in the car) and sleep (6 hours per night)!

Fortunately today is DH's turn to go pick up the baby, which means I might actually have some time this evening after I get home from Job #2 to continue working on my trailer. Last night I only got like 15 min. to work on it b/c I went up to the Academy to check out the cadets, taking the trouble to run a 1/2 mile with them in 90 degree heat while I was at it. Running on that track brought back lots of horrible memories but secretly it was still kind of fun to be doing it. Most importantly I managed to keep up with them (though 2 of them did turn to ask me if I was doing ok!). After I spent an hour with them in class, observing them, then I rushed to Cactus Records to pick up the new Steve Earle CD--a tribute to Townes--and get my wristband for the in-store on Saturday. Me, the baby, my brother, and father will all be there, hell YEAH!!!

Anyway, then when I got home I was all sweaty from the run so I jumped in the shower, then tried to settle in with my trailer only to have DH come into the bedroom, piece of birthday cake in hand (we'll be eating that shit for days still) and insist that I get ready for bed and Seinfeld watching. But I've got all Saturday night and Sunday night to work on it (though I'm sure DH will be ready for us to begin watching Season 3 of 24 by Sunday night).

Here's the agenda for this weekend:
Sat. from 9-2: Working a health fair on behalf of Job #1 in Bellaire TX, not too far from the house, yay.
4pm: Get to Cactus Records to get a good spot for the Steve Earle in-store at 5. Getting there at 3:30 might be even better!
Sat. night: quality time with my trailer, budget, grant applications, etc.!

Sun. 11am: Lakewood Church's Law Enforcement Appreciation service.
Sun. night: more work on my trailer until DH makes me stop so I can watch 24.

And in between all that I gotta do laundry, grocery shopping, general household cleaning, and all that other mundane shit. But my trailer script is really coming along and it's fun to watch it come together.

More Trailer and Budget Fun

Yay, last night DH let me work on my trailer footage for almost 2 hours! I got a lot done, still more to do of course but I am putting a dent in this stuff. Today I spent some quality time with my budget, finally. I had started a budget awhile back but so much of it was still so abstract for me I found the process very confusing and frustrating. Now that I have read more books and literature on the subject and have a shooting day under my belt I have a much clearer picture of what my budget will consist of. So far my rough numbers reveal a total budget of around $10-11K although some of that will consist of my own In-Kind contributions as Director/Producer etc. Real #'s reveal closer to the $8K mark. Still gotta add more stuff though but I gotta keep it under $10K for the TFPF grant so there might end up being "2" budgets, one for the TFPF and one for soliciting contributions to interested parties (i.e., rich, cop-loving individuals). Bottom line is, my dad and brother were technically "In-Kind" for the trailer shoot but I would love to, and do plan on, paying them SOMETHING. It's only right.

Fortunately I spoke to the owner of the Karoake club where I had my party and he has agreed to refund me some of the room charge. Thank God. The room charge fee is still high but this definitely helps. From now on I am done with these big birthday and other parties where I need to rely on my friends. Future parties will be held at venues like restaurants where if and WHEN they don't show up it doesn't matter and I'm not out a whole bunch of $ for food, party favors, reservation fees, etc. Unfortunately today on Facebook I "un-friended" one of these friends, an old friend from college b/c he has been living in Houston for months now and still cannot meet me anywhere or anytime no matter how many invitations I throw at him and yes, he promised to come to my Karoake party. I was a little sad about doing this, but what kind of friendship is a Facebook-only friendship anyway? Who needs it, man?!?

Tomorrow night I plan to head up to the Academy for my first night of sussing out the new fresh meat that is this year's cadet class. Mudflap said he'd join me, DH said maybe. When I was a baby chick cadet I always loved it when real live deputies came to class and talked to us and told us stories during breaks.

Sunday is law enforcement appreciation day at the mega-monster Lakewood Church and we have all been invited to go. The Sheriff will be there and we have to wear "Class A" Uniform (long-sleeve shirt and little clip on tie, plus I will wear my shiny glossy po-lice dress shoes). DH and I will take the baby with us, of course and it should be very nice, with our own special seating section. Hmm, is Joel Osteen a cop-lover? Lord knows he's rich!

Fun with Trailers

When I finally got home last night c. 8pm and after I spent an hour with DH, eating a sandwich and watching the new cop show Southland, I was eager to get down and dirty with my footage, which my dad was nice enough to put on DVD's for me. I was working on writing down good "sound bites", and my "in-cues" and "out-cues." I went through the 1st of the 5 interviews and didn't even watch the screen much of the time so I could listen really carefully for good things to jump out at me. My next pass I'll do more watching of the screen. However, DH stopped me after only an hour so I could pay more attention to him and get ready for bed so I only got to watch a few minutes of Interview #2, Deputy Mudflap. More fun trailer work tonight until DH puts a stop to it!

I did notice that my brother often did not stop recording even when we cut takes, which I was surprised and delighted to see. I think he had in the back of his mind that I might want some of the "making of" footage for the DVD release, yuk yuk. Today I bought the external hard drive so my dad can transfer the 3 tapes on to it, that way the footage will be ready when we start editing. Laszlo said editing a 4-minute trailer will take about an hour. Cool.

Finally, here are some funny quotes from Sunday:

My dad to me: "Don't say things like 'B-roll' to laypeople!"

Me to my dad: "Yeah, I guess documentaries DO take liberty with actual fact."

My dad to me: "Can you get me one of those big double sausage things? I like them because they're healthy for you!"